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LEADERS MUST FORCE THEMSELVES TO BE EXTROVERTS




LESSON: If we want to be part of the 1% top-level leaders, we must physically and mentally force ourselves to be extroverts 24/7.  Extreme business and life success demands connections, relationships, and taking advantage of every opportunity possible, every single day.

 

The excerpt below is from my book, JUST ONE MORE: The Wisdom of Bob Vukovich, Chapter 12, Good Morning! Ash Press, 2021.

 

When I began my fledgling career in the financial services industry, I was not the guy who made friends with the waitress at our table or said hello to people on the sidewalk or in the office corridor. I was focused on my selfish success, being more educated than everyone else, and beating out all competitors.

 

Then, by the wisdom imparted in so many great books, to include Dale Carnegie’s Win Friends and Influence People, as well as from my fortunate mentors who took me under their wings, I learned the more people I help, and the more people to whom I spread a little kindness and compassion, the more success I would gain 10x.

 

But I didn’t have any money, wasn’t in the country club or any associations, so how was I going to build my Rolodex?

 

The answer was forcing myself, literally, to reach out to everyone possible, to help as many people as possible for free, and to make as many friends as possible.

 

I often tell groups about my early morning running experiences through the rural neighborhood, or even when working out of the NYC office.

 

I would bellow a friendly “Good morning!” to each fellow jogger I passed on the way to Central Park.  This practice always helped me get my day started with a positive tone, and I believed, in some small way, it made a difference in their day.  You never know when one kind word may make a difference for someone having a difficult time.

 

When first startled with a strong “Good morning!” most fellow joggers and walkers didn't know how to respond, and even literally missed a step in their morning fog.  But, when passing the same neighbor on the return loop, or even another day, they appeared to have been given permission to be friendly in return.  I would then be the one surprised by their hearty smile and “Good morning!” offered as I approached.  I believed this simple gesture helped me practice being friendly and outgoing, but the real value was having the others hopefully pay-it-forward throughout the day.

 

To build great businesses and to live an exceptional life we need to reach out and connect with other humans.  The minor fraction of brilliant, introverted minds who develop software in their garages are dwarfed by the millions of people who force themselves to be open, to be vulnerable, and to make the first move to connect. For most, it is not a “born with” skill.

 

Reminder, people want to connect, but they are insecure.  You have to give them the freedom to be your friend.  We always misinterpret insecurity as bitchiness, but it is only their fear.  Show them your confidence and courage by reaching out to everyone in the elevator, everyone in the Starbucks line, and everyone at the company you wish to be your new client.  The universe will reward you with wealth and happiness 10x!

 

Have a great week! Remember to say Hi! and say Yes!

 

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage

-        Anais Nin




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